I smell stomach acid.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
