I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
