im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
