Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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