Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
