it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
