So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
