I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize