I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
