I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
