I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
3pm strippers are depressing
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
