wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
