exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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