I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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