every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
