dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
home. puking in laundry basket.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
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