paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
