and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
