In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Randomize
