But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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