happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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