That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
