The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
