for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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