I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Randomize
