therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize