Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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