I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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