If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
where are my eyebrows?
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