yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
