Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
