btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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