oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
