hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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