He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize