I just cut my nipple shaving
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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