i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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