And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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