The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
