Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
