I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Houston, we have a blender
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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