I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
