It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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