Whoa Z and x make the same sound
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
