I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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