fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize