I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I have post one night stand depression
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