Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Randomize
