when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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