Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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