We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
