Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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