physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Randomize
