is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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