Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
