I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
