its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
