The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
