i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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