And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
