After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
