I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Randomize