It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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