the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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