don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
