ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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