Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
She just used a chaser for red wine.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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