Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
