kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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