Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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