But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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