question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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