She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
